FNTN

Introduction.

You know some folk really have a gift for not being able to save money. I’m not talking about putting money into a savings account here; just saving money by thinking they’re not being wasteful. The problem is these things often end up being hair-brained schemes that end up costing them more money than they could ever save or even worse - afford.

1 - Wash day blues.

Mmm - one plumbers crack you might not object to?

I know this one guy who had a problem with his wash-tub, all that was wrong was the seal on the door was leaking a little. Now fitting seal is fairly easy and it would only cost about $40. What! “$40 - no way” says he. Instead he’d read on the internet that you could fix leaking tub seals using a general purpose window frame caulk. Sounds fair enough eh? Caulk is easy to work with, its water-proof, when ’set’ it retains a bit of flexibility and it costs only $8 a tube, a great way to save $32. So, he finds the leak and seals it with caulk, that week-end he and his family goes off out for the day, putting a load in the wash-tub before leaving. On their return some hours later, you guessed it; the wood-floor is flooded. OK, they clear up the mess and the wife tells him to get it fixed by a plumber. So now its $40 for the seal and $40 to get it fitted, that’s $88 total now! But oh dear his woes were not over, after a few days of the heating being on all the wood panels lift and warp, net result is he has to fit a new floor costing an eye-watering $400 - the total cost to replace one $40 wash-tub seal ended up at $488!

2 - Driving on slicks.

Looks like the sort to believe some daft idea about not needing new tires eh!

Let’s face it running an auto is an expensive business and the number of ways people will try to save money by not spending it on their auto seems unending. After all why bother to pay auto insurance, you’re such a good driver you’ll never be in a wreck - will you! Hey - that’s against the law dumb ass - get yourself insured now! Anyway, I know this one woman, that’s a picture of her there, whose country cousin - wouldn’t you know it - told her she didn’t need to spend $500 on new tires, she could save $500 by driving on the old ones! Oh dear, he knew that racing cars have ’slick’ tires with no treads, and reasoned if no treads are good enough for racers - they sure must be good enough for driving round their roads too. Of course what he didn’t know was that ’slicks’, are made of special rubbers and stick like glue to the road - bald tires just skid along it. Net result - she hit a grease patch on the road and wrecked her $5000 auto!

3 - Drive-Fly vacation.

He's just get dog tired.

I know some people who live in Canada, we’ll forego all the usual jokes about Canadians as they truly are my friends. Anyway they live out at Thunder Bay and needed to get to Toronto for a flight to Europe. Its about 900 miles between the two places, a flight for the two of them would have been about $500 and taken around an hour and a half, with an eye to saving money they decided to drive. To mean to set off a day early and have a night in a motel for an extra $100, they set off in plenty of time a full 24 hours early, but it still took them nearly 20 hours; although it did only cost $125 in gas, so far so good. Problem was they were that tired when they got to the Pearson airport, they just fell asleep in the terminal and missed their call for the flight to Europe - costing them $2500 in lost air fares! So, for saving $375, they lost $2500!

4 - Who needs insurances?

I’d rather have a hand in painting this than a ceiling!

Why we pay for insurance policies at all can be quite beyond some folk. The whole idea of an insurance policy is to protect you against something that might happen, so why spend all that money when it might not happen? The point is you only need to have to claim on an insurance policy to know it makes sense. Suppose you’re a keen home enthusiast, but decide not to take out the accidental damage waiver on your household insurance, after all if any thing needs fixing - you can do it yourself. Why pay an extra $100 or so on your insurance? So, said home enthusiast decides he’s going to repaint the lounge. He starts off stripping the paint off the doors with a blow-torch, gets carried away and burns the door that badly it needs replacing. Doh- there’s an extra $100 already to spend, because he can’t claim it back off the insurance. Better still, whilst painting the ceiling he falls off the ladder, upsets the paint pot and covers the floor carpet in white emulsion. Net result, one ruined carpet needing replacing at $480, even if he fits it himself! In this case, spending $100 could have saved nearly $500 more.

5 - Wear warm clothes in the winter.

What is she really thinking about him, with his mantyhose?

Anyone living in one of the colder regions will fully appreciate having thermals to wear when it’s really icy and cold. Of course thermals aren’t the cheapest of clothing articles to buy so I wouldn’t be surprised this year to see guys wearing - mantyhose. Hideous as I might consider them to be, for anyone having to work outdoors in freezing temperatures they might just make sense to help keep your legs warm and they’ll be a darn sight cheaper than thermal leggings. Hey they’re only $7 a pair, compared to about $40 for proper thermals. The problem is of course that proper male thermals are meant to withstand some wear and tear and will last for months, whereas you could end up paying out for new mantyhose every other day or so - now that’s no way to save money guys is it? But, also think how expensive wearing mantyhose might it be for you in other ways. So, you’ve been working all day, you stop by a bar on the way home and get chatting to a pretty woman. Before you know it she’s asked you back and - well, what on earth do you think she’ll make of your mantyhose?

6 - Don’t have the heating on.

Another fine mess I got myself into.

We’re all being told to turn down the thermostat on our heating systems and not have the heating on at all if it’s not really cold. Now I’m all for saving the planet and gowing green etc, and turning the heating down or off is a great way to save money - after all no heating equals no fuel bills. Even worse, what a waste of fuel, energy and your money it is to have the heating on - when you’re away on vacation. Hey - just turn it off, who’s in the house needing warming anyway? So, having turned off the heating you take off on a vacation. Problem is, when you return home there’s been a cold snap and the temperatures been below freezing for days. You walk in and the house and it’s cold as the grave, first thing you do is put the heating on full blast, all the water pipes warm too quickly and burst - flooding the whole house. Net result of trying to save money by being miserly with the heating - hundreds of dollars needing to be spent on new flooring!

7 - Eating in is the new eating out!

Not only was my passion on fire - so too was my kitchen!

If you didn’t know there’s a recession on and we’re all being told that the in-word is “eating in is the new eating out”? Sounds good to me and a great way to save money; go to a decent restaurant and you’d be lucky to come away only $200 lighter - just to pay for the food and drinks and then paying another 15% on top of that for the tip, oh sorry, I mean service charge. They might as well pick-your-pocket on the way out and be done with it? Sure I can cook, so I set up eating in with my girlfriend. The food only cost $50, the girlfriend comes round, the tables ready with candles on it and I put the meal in the oven; it only needs 45 minutes. Then we start to enjoy a glass of wine, whilst the meal’s cooking we have some more wine and things get, well, amorous. Before you know it a couple of hours pass by before remembering the food - and what’s that strange burning smell form the kitchen? Opening the kitchen door to an inferno - net cost $20,000 for a new kitchen!

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